Confidence?
There is no such thing as confidence.
"Whaa?" you say.
Isn't confidence what it's all about? Doesn't it get you that dream job, that dream partner, that dream goal? And those people with confidence, aren't they the happy ones? The ones with a purpose? The ones who "know what they want" and "get the job done"?
Well the joke's on you, baby.
The truth is, most of what we think of as confidence is a trick of the ego. The ego decides it nees something - this is the thing! this is what will make me happy! Then it creates a facade calculated to obtain it. It's like putting on body armour before plunging into the great combat of life. "I can do it. I can achieve this. I can feel great about me. I'm amazing!!!"
But the real person, and reality of the spirit manifesting in that person, is buried under all that armour. What appears to be confidence is actually a wall between your presence and reality, a way of cutting off your sensitivity and wisdom in favour of brute force. And that brute force is very brittle. It needs reassurances, successes, goals, possibilites. One strong blow and it falls to pieces; or the gradual wear and tear of failure and dissappointment eventually cause it to slough off like dried up, used skin.
Those people who "know what they want" and "get the job done" are suffering. They are suffering greatly, needing constant motion and activity and goal seeking to distract themselves from the suffering. They are fully living in the illusion that their confidence is going to get them things, and that those things will make them happy. Problem is, nothing outside themselves can truly make them happy; and so having achieved one thing - or having failed to achieve that thing - they quickly strap on their "confidence" and go after the next thing. And around and around and around it goes...
The truly brave way, the truly real way, is to let go of the need for confidence. It simply isn't necessary. Connect fully with the present; with yourself; with what IS. Let go of the need to "succeed" and just accept yourself, others, and the situation, totally, as it is. If you really need to do something, or achieve something, then the way to achieve that will simply appear. There will be no need for confidence; instead, the way will flow through you and the right action will be easy and obvious. And if no way appears, then there is no need to do it.
This may appear to others as confidence. But it isn't. It is simply harmony.
"Whaa?" you say.
Isn't confidence what it's all about? Doesn't it get you that dream job, that dream partner, that dream goal? And those people with confidence, aren't they the happy ones? The ones with a purpose? The ones who "know what they want" and "get the job done"?
Well the joke's on you, baby.
The truth is, most of what we think of as confidence is a trick of the ego. The ego decides it nees something - this is the thing! this is what will make me happy! Then it creates a facade calculated to obtain it. It's like putting on body armour before plunging into the great combat of life. "I can do it. I can achieve this. I can feel great about me. I'm amazing!!!"
But the real person, and reality of the spirit manifesting in that person, is buried under all that armour. What appears to be confidence is actually a wall between your presence and reality, a way of cutting off your sensitivity and wisdom in favour of brute force. And that brute force is very brittle. It needs reassurances, successes, goals, possibilites. One strong blow and it falls to pieces; or the gradual wear and tear of failure and dissappointment eventually cause it to slough off like dried up, used skin.
Those people who "know what they want" and "get the job done" are suffering. They are suffering greatly, needing constant motion and activity and goal seeking to distract themselves from the suffering. They are fully living in the illusion that their confidence is going to get them things, and that those things will make them happy. Problem is, nothing outside themselves can truly make them happy; and so having achieved one thing - or having failed to achieve that thing - they quickly strap on their "confidence" and go after the next thing. And around and around and around it goes...
The truly brave way, the truly real way, is to let go of the need for confidence. It simply isn't necessary. Connect fully with the present; with yourself; with what IS. Let go of the need to "succeed" and just accept yourself, others, and the situation, totally, as it is. If you really need to do something, or achieve something, then the way to achieve that will simply appear. There will be no need for confidence; instead, the way will flow through you and the right action will be easy and obvious. And if no way appears, then there is no need to do it.
This may appear to others as confidence. But it isn't. It is simply harmony.
posted by Dr. J at 22:41
5 Comments:
I was always worried about the fact that I didn't have much confidence when it came to certain situations. But now I see that's not such a bad thing.
Stacy I'm glad you enjoyed my attempt at being insightful. I do believe it though. After trying for years to develop "confidence" and "self-esteem" I've finally given up and it's been one of the best things. Really.
Yeah, besides, just trying to build-up enough confidence for something seems to waste too much energy for me! I think I'm at the point where I'd rather just accept it as it comes.
Amen. Radical self-acceptance. And radical other-acceptance too. :)
Trust in Existence, is to go beyond confidence
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